Bowling Quotes

Quotes and Commentary from Week 5

"Remember it's latex, it should sell itself." ~Todd

"You're gonna have to jerk off with the opposite hand." ~Todd about G's injury

JR (strike in 1st frame): Now that's how you start a game!
Gerard: I got a spare in my first frame.
JR: That's how you salvage a game.

"You think this is funny? This is my livelihood!" ~Mickey

"It looks like Mickey could predict the weather." ~Eric

Quotes From Week 4

"My finger hurts cause I fingered my girlfriend too hard." ~Mickey

Mickey: It doesn't even matter what he bowls now.
JR: Basically you just fucked him.

"My hand is getting sweaty." ~Todd

Mickey: We can't have a performance like this against the second best team in the league.
Todd: Don't you mean 'best team in the league'?

"I'm the #1 latex salesman this week!" ~Todd

"I think it was the pressure of bowling against the best team in the league that did it to The Moses." ~Todd

Quotes From Week 3

"That's the greatest feeling in the world. It's better than an orgasm." ~Mickey talking about strikes, while an Asian girl in the next lane stares over with contempt.

"Where's Waldo?" ~Mickey, Todd, JR, Hilda

"Where is Waldo?" ~Sarah

Waldo: Todd is going to get a turkey!!
Todd (returning in shame): Who said that?
Waldo: It was Mitch.

"Shit Jeff!!!" ~Sarah and Hilda

"JR is a smooth ball handler." ~Sarah
"No one handles balls like JR." ~Joe

"You call me an asshole and I'll bowl a strike, I tell you that." ~Todd

"Here comes the turkey!" ~Joe, referring to JR's turkey

"You had me beat in the third frame." ~Joe

"Latex baby!!!" ~Todd
"YES!!! That's how you sell it!!!" ~JR

"Oh yeah!!! Who's your daddy?" ~Waldo

"That one felt good." ~Waldo

Quotes From Week 2

"I guess no one remembered to set their clocks forward." ~Todd

"OVER THE LINE!!!" ~Cole

"Bowling against these phantom teams like Lord of the Rings makes it so hard to get that adrenaline rush going." ~Todd

"I had to get used to my new bowling shoes." ~Jeff explaining his 253 series

"The Moses blew their way into the Jesus league." ~Mickey as commentator Jack Mehoff

"Oh shit, forgot my thank you speech for wall of shame this week....

I would like to thank first my dad for never teaching me the correct way to bowl...Second I would like to thank Sports Authority for supplying me with those great looking but poor performing Dexters...and i already threw away the receipt." ~Jeff

Quotes From Week 1

"That's how you sell latex!" ~Todd

"Eat my handicap!" ~Mitch

"That was like butter!" ~Sarah

"I feel so inadequate as a human being when I miss on the second ball." ~Hilda

"Look at these scores... everyone's trying to sandbag!" ~Todd